Not a love story

 

 (Written a short story after a long time....Hope you all like it.Read it and let me howzz it?? )

Whenever I have decided to clean the mess from my room, the chance of success was as rare as a win for Indian cricket team in recent England tour. Sometime luck was not on my side as my roomy decided to start his football practice with the full ash-tray or sometime a brilliant idea of having a pint came across my other roomy’s almost empty mind. But things are different today, I got my off from work on WEDNESDAY and its 1 PM, so chances of any unlikely event like those are almost zero. I light up my last cigarette and searched for broom almost 20 minutes when finally I found it behind dustbin. Stage is set and show starts……

I emptied my travelling bag and start rearranging things in a civilized manner, suddenly a 100 Rs note slip from the diary with a tiny black BINDI . The situation hit me like a jinx, my throat dried and all the moisture of my body shifted to my eyes. My leg trembled and desperately I searched for a cigarette to save me from another emotional breakdown. Fuck…it’s empty, that 100Rs note is still lying on floor. I picked that up and read the letters written on it “To Raj…From my first salary..” my gaze turned towards that tiny black BINDI ..Her first BINDI….my vision get blurred and I start sobbing like a child. Everything seems to be happen a minute before but truth is it happened a long time back, actually not so long…..

My love story was nothing like love at first sight and I never heard violin while watching her face. It was just a simple love story….. To be very honest the day when I proposed her, I was actually seeking a girl with whom I could spend quality time. I do remember the day and place when I proposed her but I didn’t remember neither the date nor place when I fall in love for her. It’s like a love story that started after the “love story kind off”.

It started very casually, Night long phone calls, texting during office hours, silly fights. Our weekend plans started exciting us whole week and blah blah.

I was very disturbed those days because of my family problems, I was not very close to my family and their conservative silly ideas always annoyed me, at that time she became my stress buster. She started suggesting me like a mother suggest her son, whenever I felt lonely she hold my hand and I felt better. I remember that day when she said "always remember you have someone only yours, I am with you”. The whole episode was affecting me in a very different manner. I became calmer from outside, but something was happening inside very deep in my heart, firstly I didn’t acknowledge that but sooner things became unavoidable. And then I realized I WAS IN LOVE………….

Love hit me like a breeze without a noise. She is a sweet girl and in my words the sweetest girl of whole universe. Her tiny sparkling eyes when looked towards me time stops for me. The way she holds my hand inside her soft palms, the way she cared for me and the way she fed the food that day, all things about her was just magical. I started dreaming about her, my whole world started revolving around her face. I have decided to quit smoking because I didn’t want to cut short even a single minute of my life now; I wish I could see her even after my death. I started to live in a different world, don’t even realizing that after every bright sunny day there is a dark night waiting. Sooner my dark night started, so much dark that even after such a long time I am unable to smile in the same way..

One day she told me she couldn’t plan her future with me or in simple words she wanted breakup. She left me without telling me even my fault. I demanded a reason though no reason in world could sound her reasonable enough at that moment. A lot she said to me but words that even today haunt me in my dreams, are words that I wish she never said….

“Be practical yaar, No one’s life stops without anybody. Four months are not such a long period. Go live your life……..”

I wish I could told her that day… that you are my life,… even four seconds are a long period to devote a life to someone…..breaths don’t stop without anybody but life certainly stops dear. I wish I could remind her that promise “remember you have someone only yours, I am with you”. I lost my life that day and from that day onwards I don’t know why I am carrying the burden of life…….     

Sometime my lips though get a curve but my soul is crying, crying with all its strength. I know she will never return back but I will wait because there is nothing else I can do. I looked at 100Rs note and bindi like they are smiling on me and saying you can’t get rid of her memories. She still lives inside you……

My thought process was interrupted by sound of footsteps of my roomy. I quickly picked up the BINDI and 100Rs note and put that back in diary before he entered in the room. I picked up the broom and start cleaning the room….

Roomy enters in the room and suddenly I hear another sound, I turned back and see an ash tray lying empty near his feet and ash is covering whole floor and some part of my bed sheet.